Bruce Brothers

Jon Doust and Roger Montgomery are...

The Bruce Brothers are. .

Mythomaniacs of Oz

dinkum experts in telling yarns & tales, old and new, of Australia

   It's a dyed in the wool fact that a good Aussie yarnster was not the kind of person to let the truth stand in the way of a bloody good story and, as often as not, whenever a camp fire sputtered into life so did one of these downy birds appear, to literally blow us away with words. The same could be said of the city barfly, forever searching dryly for expression through the bottom of a glass, usually presented in the fabulous key of Oz Sardonic .

   These worthies , either hunkering down in the classic bushman's crouch or leaning gracelessly upon the bar would transfix us with their tall tales, always making light of immense hardship, taking us to the Bush or to the City, introducing us to the many kinds of flora, fauna and folk, yea, all the beasts & beauties that inhabit this fair land .

    Jon Doust and Roger Montgomery have reviving this ancient art and now, occasionally traverse the land of Oz, telling the yarns and stories of various folk they have encountered, or been encountered by in their journeyings .

   Strange tales from the unspeakable rellie from Hell, Uncle Jimbo. Lurid examples of the casual canardary of the greatest of all wheelbarrow impellers, Flick Multoney, or bizzare and caustic inveracities from those crumbling relics of the Oz Outback, the Boundary Riders. Sympathise with the plight of Why Me, the unluckiest truckie in Oz, or simply sample the blatant mendacities of Finlay Campbell, soldier and P.O.W. Finlay was the cove who brought about the early ending of W.W. II !
   These and many other colourful characters are brought alive by the mytho-maniacal Bruce Brothers .

   Twelve hundred New Zealand plumbers, ninety Australian mining presidents and their partners, three hundred and fifty farmers, shearers and stockman, two hundred school principals, These worthies and many other community groups, corporate captains, C.A.L.M. folk, Rotarians cannot be wrong !!
            The Bruce Brothers...a daring new trend in after-breakfast, apres-lunch and -dinner speakers .

                                        The Origin of the Bruce Brothers

G'day Ladies and Gents...we are the Bruce Brothers and it's a little known fact that we are identical twins, borne at the same hour, on the same day, on the same month by the same father but different mothers...(our Alleged Dad, of Royal Blood travelled between here and Pommieland quite a bit ...But that's another story...)

We never knew of our bondage until three years ago, when quite by chance we instantly recognised each other in the Hay Street Mall . .even though we had never met before.

    Alleged Fact...We are the bastard offspring of the Stanley Melbourne 1st Viscount Bruce of Melbourne. This means we have Royal blood coursing through these twenty-eight year old veins but don't bother standing up..

We found out that we are among the latest in a long line of highly extinguished descendants...

Robert the Bruce...
( Bruce the Bluer because of his make-up & his propensity to punching poms out...)

Lenny the Bruce ...
was an Australian in New York

Bruce the Abstruse...
spoke only when spoken to, and then only in a detached manner

Bruce the Abuser ...
the less said about him ...suffice to say he made Vlad the Impaler look like Little Miss Muffet !

Bruce the Confuser ...
before Edward the Confessor ..

Bruce Brummel...
the great fashion plate of 19 Century Perth...fashion arbiter of the lame` thong , the blue silk singlet & the velveteen stubby shorts

Hughes Hefner Bruce
invents the Bruce Goose. A 50 engined Jarrah Bi-plane . .polished up beautifully but too heavy to lift off the ground...let alone fly!!

We also now own vast tracts of land ...Bruce Rock...that's ours ...the Bruce Highway & every town that sits on (or near) it..that's ours .. town of Bruce in Canberra ...that's ours...Brucefield & entire Spencer Gulf... that's ours.....any street ,avenue , park in any town in Australia & the Ant-artic any house, park, river , any woman named Bruce !!   All .....ours...

    Now this is a good time to introduce you to Jon Bruce Doust..Prince of Manjy/Bridgetown...Bruce the Jon is, despite his regal bearing, less than human...L's and G's ....Mr Jon Bruce Doust...

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